Family bullshit

Beware a long...long...personal rant.

Earlier this year I was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor. You'd think that, and the surgery that followed, would be bad enough, right? Not if you have a sister like mine.

For the sake of this post let's call me "G" and my sister "N." I have to give some background or nothing else will make sense.

I have been cursed with horrible health problems, dating back to my teens. By my very early 20s I had already lost a couple of years to a devastating illness that nearly cost me my life. It did cost me my reproductive organs, which is a BIG DEAL to a young woman, emotionally and physically. Leading up to that I had multiple operations including emergency surgery to save my life; I spent weeks at a time in the hospital; I had many blood transfusions: I was completely incapacitated by the illness.

From then until a year ago I had so many illnesses, so many operations, so many hospitalizations, so many medications I long ago lost track of them all. Since 2003 I've been unable to work because of a conglomeration of various, serious health issues.

My sister, on the other hand, has been BLESSED with good health. However, to listen to her you'd think she was the sickest person to ever walk the face of the earth. There's always something wrong with her. She's always staying home from work because of some huge illness. Right. We're talking about major illnesses like...SNIFFLES. Hay fever-related sniffles. And other things of that severity. *sigh*

Because I lived out-of-state for many years, I really had no idea just how much of a hypochondriac my sister was until I moved back to California in 2006. Up until then I actually BELIEVED her when she talked about her severe breathing problems, her severe sinus problems, her severe...whatever. I thought we were dealing with issues of the same magnitude. You see, I really do have severe breathing problems, specifically asthma; I'm under a pulmonologist's care here, just as I was before moving back here. We're talking big-time breathing problems--I've needed emergency treatment numerous times--I use multiple prescriptions 365 days a year including inhalers and oral medications. I also use a nebulizer. As for sinus/allergy problems, I'm on multiple prescriptions daily for that, too. I had to have sinus surgery a few years ago to sandblast all four sinus cavities, as scar tissue--from allergic reactions--had completely occluded all of them. My sister? Oh, she takes an over-the-counter allergy pill every so often.

"N" has proclaimed that "anyone who REALLY has breathing problems can't tolerate scented candles and those other things you use!" See, she makes a really big deal of how she just can't take being around scented candles, cleaning products, air fresheners, perfume, etc.--and she expects everybody to modify things to accommodate her. Again, she's not sick, she just thinks she is. So her point in making that statement? Simple. She's really saying, "*I* am the sick one! If you were as sick as *I* am, you couldn't tolerate those things!" Never mind that pulmonologists in two states have cared for me for the past several years, never mind that they and my primary doctors diagnosed me, that they do lung function tests periodically, prescribe medication, have given me emergency treatment, etc. No, "N" says I don't really have breathing problems, so there it is!

Now to the actual point of this rant. I had surgery to remove the brain tumor in April. This was, by far, the most profound, the most traumatic, the most debilitating surgery I've ever had. And that's saying a lot. Who knew a craniotomy and having your brain cut into could be so difficult?! Post-op I was overwhelmed with complications and side effects. I couldn't focus my eyes. At all. So I couldn't read, use the computer, watch TV, make phone calls, etc. I couldn't balance--they had to remove the vestibular nerve on the operative side because they couldn't dissect the tumor away from it--so walking, standing, taking a shower, all of these were terrifying. My face was completely paralyzed on the operative side, so I couldn't drink out of a cup without spilling liquid all over myself, I couldn't close my eye on that side so it was constantly, horribly dry and painful, eating was slow and difficult and painful both because of the paralysis and because of the trauma from the craniotomy where the jaw hinges. The most unexpected side effect was a profound, unrelenting exhaustion of a magnitude I didn't know existed. There really are no words to describe it.

My husband, our daughter and her husband, and my best friend were all here, in succession, to take care of me. They did everything you'd expect people to do for someone recovering from brain surgery--they made wonderful meals, did laundry, cleaned the cat boxes, and so on. They made sure that I got up and walked several times a day, as prescribed, using them for support as we were shown in the hospital. They came from thousands of miles away, putting their own lives and jobs on hold, to be with me. "N" lives 3 minutes away, 5 if you hit every red light. Not once before or after surgery (I was incapacitated for two months pre-op) did she offer to shop for groceries, do a load of laundry, cook a meal, change my sheets, stay here while I took a shower, clean the cat boxes, walk with me...nothing. Not once.

A few weeks after surgery--after everyone had left--my niece drove me to an appointment with the internist on my case. (I was unable to drive from February until August.) One of the most worrisome complications has been very high blood pressure and heart rate, despite being on medication. At that visit my BP was through the roof. I can't recall now what it was, but the doc--again--told me that "after brain surgery it's CRITICAL that we get the blood pressure down or we're going to be looking at a stroke." I had been on steroids, too, to keep the brain from swelling. While we were out "N" had called and left a message, wanting to know how the appointment went. I talked to her later that afternoon and told her exactly what had happened, including the fact that the doc had added ANOTHER prescription to get the BP down. I told her verbatim what he had said.

A couple hours later, she called back. It's irrelevant what she said or what the point of the call was. The only important part is this: She got me upset. REALLY upset. I was lying on the couch, exhausted from the long day I'd had, and all of a sudden there's this bullshit coming at me over the phone. I could feel my heart rate increasing. I knew my blood pressure was going up. And I knew I couldn't let that happen. So I started to say, "I just had brain surgery and I really can't afford to get upset" but she cut me off. All I'd gotten out was, "I just had brain surgery" and she said, "No you didn't! You keep SAYING that, but you did NOT have brain surgery!" I said, "WHAT?!" She said again, "you keep saying you had brain surgery, but you didn't!" I was literally shaking my head in disbelief. Right now I can't recall exactly what I said next, but her response was, "oh I know, 'G' knows more than EVERYBODY!!" Right after that we got cut off. I thought she had hung up on me, but I later found out she had attempted to answer her call waiting and hung up accidentally. (Of course, she could have called back, but didn't.)

I checked my BP and pulse a few minutes later and they were ridiculous. I no longer remember all the exact readings, but I know the systolic pressure was over 200, my pulse was 140, and the diastolic pressure was around the same as my pulse. Keep in mind that just hours before I had told her EXACTLY what the doctor had said that day, about how we were looking at stroke level readings and it was imperative that we get them down. And with that knowledge she upset me and then declared that I hadn't had brain surgery.

All of that would be inexcusable enough, but it's not even the tip of the iceberg. I found out over the next few weeks that she was spreading this bullshit to everyone who'd listen, including our relatives. Luckily, some of our relatives are smart and educated--and they have laughed their asses off at this. She has no clue what a fool she's made of herself. I've been asked, numerous times!, the rhetorical question, "has she lost her mind?!"

But it gets worse.

The day before surgery my husband and I went for final testing and pre-op visits with several of the doctors who would be operating on me the next day. Afterwards we stopped at "N"'s house to tell her, her husband, and our mother what had transpired. We told them VERY CLEARLY exactly what had happened. We said that Dr S, one of the neurosurgeons, told us that there was a 1 in 500 chance of dying from the surgery we were planning, but only a 1 in 2000 chance of dying from a different surgical approach. I had reminded him that as of that day I had 60% voice recognition in that ear, but going with the alternate approach I'd sacrifice my hearing [they remove the hearing nerve], and he responded that if it were him, he'd sacrifice his hearing. We then went to the head honcho, not just on my case but in the entire--and very famous--facility, Dr B. He's a neurotologist, and surgeons from all over the world send their patients to him to be operated on when they have the kind of brain tumor I had. He LITERALLY wrote the book, as in medical school text book, on this type of tumor. He's the man! We told Dr B what Dr S had said, and he said it was crazy to sacrifice 60% hearing, he fully agreed that the approach we had planned all along was the right one, and he promised that they'd "sweat bullets" to save my hearing. So we relayed all of this to "N," et al, and left.

After finding out that she was telling everyone that I had not had brain surgery, I also found out that she was telling them this: "G FORCED the doctors to perform the most difficult surgery! It wasn't necessary at all, but she FORCED them to do it!!"

Now, you're probably wondering why anyone, let alone a sister, would do anything this despicable. It all goes back to her being a hypochondriac and wanting attention as "the sick one" in the family. By ERRONEOUSLY declaring that I hadn't had brain surgery, her real motive was to diminish the severity of what I'd gone through, i.e., if people bought into her statement that it wasn't brain surgery, especially combined with how she was saying it, they'd think, "oh, so it really wasn't a big deal?!" Combine that with her saying that I had forced the surgeons to perform the most difficult type of surgery, and people would think that I had done that in order to drag out the recuperation process...I guess for pity? I don't know. At any rate, then they could go back to asking her about her sniffles.

Among MANY idiotic things "N" has said, one of the MOST idiotic was in an e-mail exchange after I told her she had a lot of fucking nerve to declare that it wasn't brain surgery. She said, "Just as you're entitled to your opinion about things, I'm entitled to mine!" FUCKING ASSHOLE. There is no "opinion" involved when we're talking about a BRAIN TUMOR that was removed via CRANIOTOMY by four NEUROSURGEONS and NEUROTOLOGISTS.

The most telling thing of all in this pathetic scenario is this: The last contact I had with her was via e-mail; I told her that the next time I hear from her it had better be one of two things, either an apology to me and retraction to everyone she'd spread her lies to, OR that she was going with me to see Dr B so she could look him in the eye--the world's most famous, most respected, most accomplished, most revered surgeon for the type of brain tumor I had--and tell HIM that he did not perform brain surgery on me. Guess what? That was MONTHS ago, and despite numerous invitations for her to join me [and various family members who were driving me], it's not just that she declined to go give Dr B a lesson in neurosurgery, she IGNORED me! FUCKING COWARD.

Recently, a relative--the only relative who has the balls to challenge "N"--confronted her and said, "you need to apologize to G" Her response? "Well! That's not going to happen!" Further discussion ensued as the relative tried to get across to her that she's the one who's done something really inexcusable, again saying "you need to apologize," to which "N" replied, "I can't do that!!" So I'm left wondering, does she think *I* should apologize to HER? If so, what for? I was lying on the couch recovering from brain surgery. She upset me--knowing full well that I could literally stroke out right then and there--and spread lies and bullshit. But she "can't" apologize?

If she believes she was in the right, i.e., that not only did I not have brain surgery but that it was also okay to upset me when my BP was out of control and I could've easily had a stroke, then why isn't she willing to go give the world's most famous surgeon a lesson in neurosurgery? If she knows she was wrong, why isn't she willing to apologize?

Fuck you, CafePress (part...hell, I've lost track!)

I thought I'd give CafePress the props they deserve by posting a 'thank you' thread on their member forum. So what did they do? Deleted it. Almost immediately.

I thought it was rather lovely, so I'll post it here instead.

Posted 04 November 2009 07:46 PM

As I've said [numerous times!], it wasn't until CP's brilliant idea [the 10% thing] that I finally decided to branch out to other PODs. Once the first one started making consistent sales [which it did in its first month--in fact, I made its first volume bonus level after my first week], I pulled out of CP's MP for good.

Next thing I knew the second POD started making sales.

And then this morning I was SHOCKED by a sale at a third POD--that I had completely forgotten about. Of course I can't mention its name, but it's the one that lets you make your designs available for sale separate from actually placing them on products yourself. I had uploaded a few designs and put them on a bunch of products, even paid for their version of a premium shop for a month--before realizing that they make your PERSONAL, PRIVATE info (name, home address, etc.) available to the public. I shut down the shop and deleted all the products, but left the designs in their MP. And voila! They're now selling too.

And guess what? My markup on them is MORE than the 10% that CP was giving me for all the trouble I went through putting products up. In other words, with CP, *I* upload the designs, *I* choose the products to put them on, *I* put the designs on the products, tweak the sizes so they look right, etc., set up sections, add keywords, write descriptions, and so on, only to make [about] $2 per shirt. At the "other place" ALL I do is upload a design, write a description and add some keywords, give it my markup, done. And I'm making roughly 2.5 times as much as the aforementioned shirt example at CP--JUST FOR THE DESIGN.

When I first heard about the 10% thing in June, when I was recovering from April brain surgery and was physically unable to do anything, I was very pessimistic and depressed about this change. And here I am, GRATEFUL for how it's worked out. I would be remiss not to thank CafePress!

Now, I can't IMAGINE why CafePress was offended by that post, and felt compelled to remove it! But they were and they did. Oh well. Fuck them.

On a separate, but somewhat related, note I have to mention that the other PODs don't feel the need to censor their forums the way CafePress does. I'm not referring to the deletion of my post. I'm talking about the way CP disallows the mention of any competitors by name--even in private messages! Seriously. They'll obfuscate the other PODs' names if you type them in a forum post or private message. How lame is that? Or should I say, how PARANOID is that?

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How many Linux users are there REALLY?

It's getting a little old hearing that Linux users make up a small...VERY small fraction of all personal computer users. I don't believe the numbers, which are typically put around 1%, and I'll tell you why.

1) Up until very recently, 99.99% [that's a guess, but it's probably reasonably accurate] of personal computers shipped with Microsoft products preinstalled, including Windows as the operating system. That meant that people like me--who wouldn't be caught dead using Micro$oft products--who wanted to buy a certain computer for its features would go ahead and buy it, then immediately wipe windoze off its drive, install Linux ourselves, and be on our merry way of computer-using bliss. So guess what that sale counted as? Guess what *WE* counted as? Yep, WINDOWS USERS. Since the mid-1980s I've personally been responsible for purchasing hundreds of computers, both for my own use at home and in my [former] position at work. Each of those computers came with windoze (DOS before that) preinstalled on them; with each one, as soon as I got my hands on it I formatted its hard drive and installed Linux (UNIX before that). Every one of those computers counted in the scheme of things as "a Microsoft user," even though nothing could be further from the truth.

2) Although it's now possible to buy PCs with Linux preinstalled on them directly from [enlightened] manufacturers, such as HP, Dell, and others, many of us prefer to do it ourselves. I've never had anyone else install *nix for me, and I can't imagine starting now. I like to take a blank, freshly formatted hard drive and build it from the ground up. *I* want to decide how to partition it. I have a very specific scheme I use for all my installations: I allocate a certain [small] percentage of the drive for its / [root] partition, a large percentage for its /home partition, a larger percentage for its /data [a common storage area for all users] partition, and a relatively small area for swap space. I don't want someone else deciding for me how to allocate space. And I have a specific way of installing the OS and applications, too. So if it comes down to wanting a new computer and the one I like happens to have windows on it, I'll buy it, wipe it, install Linux and proceed as usual. And, once again, the records will show that I'm a Windows user. NOT!

3) Many people who want to "get their feet wet" with Linux, but aren't ready to fully take the plunge, start out by dual-booting Linux and Windows. Once again the computers they're doing this on were sold with Windows preinstalled on them; once the user got the computer home and decided to try Linux, they set up a dual-boot arrangement which the computer manufacturer or retail store knows absolutely nothing about. So, once again, this person goes into the books as a Windows user.

4) Another way that people use Linux is via virtual machines. With products like VMWare they can run Linux inside Windows and--you guessed it!--the computer was counted as a Windows computer when it sold.

See where I'm going? It's not as cut and dry as the Linux hating pundits like to imply.

On a related note--misinformation from Linux hating pundits--it's simply not true that there's no help available if you're stuck and need assistance. Unlike Micro$oft where, like EVERYTHING related to M$, it costs $$$ for support, in the Linux world just ask and you shall receive. There are many Linux forums/message boards, some devoted to specific distributions, such as Ubuntu, and others to Linux in general, as well as many Usenet Linux groups. Plus IRC if you're into that. If you're having a problem with Linux and you can't find the help you need online...you're doing something wrong. There are simply too many places and too many people willing to help that anyone should be left hanging.

In summary, the numbers commonly used to represent the percentage of PCs running Linux are inherently flawed, and if you need help using Linux, all you have to do is ask.

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Casey Anthony/Misty Croslin

In case you're not familiar with Casey Anthony and/or Misty Croslin, both involving missing and/or dead children in Florida, briefly:

Casey's 2-year-old daughter Caylee was murdered and Casey is the prime suspect. Casey claimed the baby was missing; she made up an elaborate story about a nanny who took Caylee, and how her whole family was in danger if they did anything! So...she failed to report Caylee "missing" for more than a month. It was her mother who, upon learning that Caylee was missing, contacted the police. Casey then proceeded to tell lie after lie to the authorities, including taking the police on a wild goose chase to Universal Studios, where she claimed to work--but didn't.

Casey was in and out of jail at first, finally landing there for good as she awaits trial for murder--Caylee's completely skeletonized body was found about 6 months after her "disappearance," with duct tape tightly wrapped around her mouth, and just blocks away from the Anthonys' home.

Misty Croslin is a 17-year-old who was living with her boyfriend and his two children. Haleigh Cummings was 5 years old when she was supposedly taken from her bed one night. Misty, being the last known person to have seen Haleigh, was questioned intensely, and rightly so. Her story has changed many times, and she's failed multiple polygraph and other tests that detect deceit. Failed miserably. She continues to deny any knowledge of Haleigh's "disappearance" or whereabouts. Interestingly, Ron Cummings, Haleigh's dad, married Misty Croslin a couple months after Haleigh went missing. I have nothing to back this up except my gut feeling, but I think they married under the incorrect belief that they'd have spousal privilege not to testify against each other. Unfortunately for them, Florida has a law that says spousal privilege doesn't apply in cases involving harm to children. Oh, they just got divorced last week.

There are two shows I watch every day that have done a great job of following these cases closely, Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell and Nancy Grace. I highly recommend them as they're always right on top of any developments in either case.

I've seen many clips of George and Cindy Anthony, Casey's parents, vehemently denying that Casey killed their granddaughter. They've tried to recant or change the meaning of various statements they made when they first discovered Caylee missing. For example, on a 911 call that Cindy Anthony made, she says that she found her daughter's car and it smells like there was a dead body in it. George Anthony made similar remarks. If anyone should know the smell of a decomposing human body, it's George: He was a police officer. Since then they've attributed the smell to rotting pizza. Yeah, rotting pizza does not have the distinct odor of a decomposing body. Besides, cadaver dogs hit on the car, a hair was found in the car belonging to either Casey or Caylee--but that person had to be dead. Hair has "death rings" that don't appear in living people; when confronted with this info, Casey said "well, I'm alive!"

The entire Anthony family is in deep, deep denial. They know that Casey is a pathological liar--even her friends admit that--but they refuse to see the truth here.

As for Misty Croslin, this is what I think happened and, again, it's purely gut instinct. We know that Ron left for work (he worked the night shift), leaving the kids in Misty's care as usual. I think Misty left to go somewhere, probably a party, and took the kids with her. SOMETHING happened to Haleigh, either an accidental drug overdose or some other unintentional harm. She died. Misty panicked. She then did something with Haleigh's body--buried her, dumped her in a lake, who knows. She went back to the trailer and put Junior (Ron's son) to bed, and started thinking up stories to tell. When Ron arrived home from work around 3:00 AM, he found Misty [outside, I believe] saying that Haleigh was gone. Oh--Ron's cell phone records from that night show that he called Misty some 20-odd times but never got her. Also, Misty's brother says that Ron called him and asked him to go over to the trailer to check on them, and that he pounded on the door but there were no signs of life inside.

When Ron got home Misty hadn't called the police. She only did so when Ron told her to. From that point on it's a confusing myriad of stories, all with the same bottom line: she doesn't know what happened to Haleigh.

Her behavior is, in my opinion, very indicative of someone with a guilty conscience. Unlike some of the pundits I've seen on various shows, I do believe that when she cries it's genuine. I think she feels terrible that Haleigh died on her watch, even if she's the one responsible for it. I think she misses Haleigh, and I think she feels genuinely sorry for Ron, his family, and Haleigh's mother, Crystal Sheffield, and her side of the family. She's probably scared to death that she'll be sent to prison forever if she tells the truth, so she's essentially compelled to keep up the lies.

Although the cases both involve women and "missing" children, they're really very different. Casey Anthony went out partying--HARD--during the time her daughter was supposedly missing, but hadn't reported it yet. There are MANY photographs of Casey living it up at parties, nightclubs, etc., without a care in the world about Caylee. Not only that, but she even got a tattoo during that missing month that translates to "the good life." What parent with a missing child--and who isn't involved in the disappearance--would have THAT tattooed on them? Misty, on the other hand, I see as a young, unsophisticated person who [probably] participated somehow in Haleigh's death, and is now wracked with guilt and remorse but can't bring herself to tell the truth. I wish she would give Haleigh's family some closure by telling what really happened that night.

If you're planning on attending a vigil or other gathering for either of these girls--or you're going to be outside the courthouse on days when Casey will appear--or if you want to show your support on a daily basis, please look at these Justice for Caylee, Casey did it and Misty, where is Haleigh? products. There are buttons, t-shirts, bumper stickers, and a lot more.


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Wasn't SmartAssProducts.com anti-Bush/anti-Republican?

We've gotten a lot of inquiries regarding our apparent switch from pro- to anti-Democrat, and finally decided to just write a blog entry explaining what happened.

First some background. When SmartAssProducts.com started, its main focus was anti-Bush merchandise, along with some anti-Republican and anti-conservative stuff thrown in for good measure. We were lifelong, die-hard Democrats; we despised Bush II and everything he represented. We had a countdown clock on the site ticking off the seconds until Bush would finally leave office. Then came 2008's Democratic race.

We were OUTRAGED last year at what we saw happening: Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, the DNC, etc., jumping on the bandwagon of an untested, under-qualified phenomenon instead of supporting the truly QUALIFIED, and deserving, Democratic candidate, Hillary Clinton. I personally did fundraising for Clinton, attended meetings and rallies and phone banks, contributed to her campaign, etc. When she was pushed out of the race--despite having more popular votes than Obama--I simply could not switch my allegiance to him. NOT because he forced Hillary out of the race--although I was extremely bitter about that!--but because of how unqualified he was, the terrorists and slumlords and racists he's associated with for decades, etc. I couldn't imagine how anyone could sit in a church for TWENTY YEARS listening to venomous hatred against whites and others... So I said, "party loyalty be damned!" and voted for McCain.

We started focusing on coming up with more anti-Obama slogans and designs. That's been VERY easy! And it sells. We now have anti-Obama merchandise on Zazzle and Printfection as we branch out from our original CafePress shop.

In the process of all this, people started jumping to the wrong conclusion, i.e., that we are now anti-Democrat, pro-Republican. Simply not true--in general, anyway. Anti-Obama? You bet! Anti-all Democrats? Nope. Pro-Republican? In general, no. In specific cases? Yes. I'm proud to say that I did the morally and ethically correct thing last year by choosing not to vote for Obama, and voting for McCain instead. At least with McCain we have an honorable person, a war hero, a veteran, a person with a long history of serving this country in various ways. I feel good about voting for him. Now, if Hillary Clinton hadn't been railroaded out of the race, my vote unequivocally, definitely would have gone to her, and voting for McCain wouldn't have even crossed my mind.

If Obama continues proving what an unqualified dolt he is--as he's done thus far in his first year--I fully expect that the Democrats will come to their senses in 2012. I hope to see Clinton run again, although she's indicated that's not very likely. As long as the Democratic nominee in 2012 is qualified for the office of POTUS, and does not have a multi-decade history of associating with racists and terrorists, I'll vote for her/him. But if it's Obama again? I guess I'll be voting Republican again!

In closing, it's simply incorrect to think we've switched from pro-Democrat to pro-Republican. We've only focused on the office of president, not other elected offices like governor or senator, so the only Democrat referred to on our site is Obama--and we're anti-Obama. Likewise, the only Republican referred to on our site is John McCain--to a very limited degree, i.e., our Don't blame me, I voted for Hillary...and McCain and Don't blame me, I voted for McCain merchandise. We're pro-McCain over Obama, and since McCain is the only Republican we address, it comes out looking like we're pro-Republican. The only way I'd ever consider becoming a Republican is if they became pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, pro-sex education, etc. And that's most likely NEVER going to happen.

So, don't worry, we'll be back to our regular political views once Obama leaves office. Until then, anti-Obama all the way!


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Fuck you, CafePress! [part 3]

A few days ago I wrote that our Printfection shop had yet to make a sale, despite having been worked on more--and over a longer period of time--than our Zazzle shop, which is humming along.

It is with great pleasure that I announce the above no longer holds true! We've just made our first sale at Printfection--and it's yet another nod to our "fuck you CafePress!" attitude. Now with both of our other shops making sales, it's easier to transition away from the CafePress marketplace for good.

In case anyone's interested, this is the item that just sold--and it happens to be one of my favorite designs:




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And yet another Internet scam: Free Ericsson laptop!

Have you seen this bullshit? It arrives by e-mail and offers a free Ericsson laptop:



The e-mail it arrives in even references Snopes:

"I DID check Snopes - it IS legit ... They're trying to match a recent deal by Nokia!"

Of course, in reality, Snopes debunks it. It's actually an OLD hoax which keeps rearing its ugly head from time to time.

For the record, there is no Anna Swelund employed by Ericsson, and never has been, despite your being told to send copies of the e-mails you forward to Anna.Swelund@ericsson.com.

What's amazing is that even after all these years, and all the iterations of this ridiculous Internet hoax, people continue to fall for it...


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Fuck you, CafePress! [part 2]

As noted in previous posts, CafePress recently made what will likely go down in history as its worst decision ever. Specifically, they decided to screw their shopkeepers by reducing our commission to a disgusting, appalling, pathetic 10% for products purchased in their marketplace. A mass exodus of shopkeepers ensued, with other print-on-demand (POD) companies reaping the benefits as throngs of us started, or expanded, shops with them.

If I haven't already, I'd now like to officially say "thank you, CafePress!" for making the pricing change. Surprised? Don't be! That change was the catalyst for SmartAssProducts.com to branch out to other PODs, something we had failed to do before. The reasoning was, hey, sales are great!, let's concentrate on adding new designs, adding more products, etc. It was easy...way too easy...to become complacent and bank on one POD.

We're happy to say that our Zazzle shop is doing very, very well in its brief lifetime. (The account is actually several years old, but because of that aforementioned complacency, nothing was ever done with it until a few weeks ago.)

We're even happier to say that--by FAR--our bestselling design at Zazzle is this one on anti-Michael Vick merchandise:



Ironically, our Printfection shop--which has been worked on more and for a longer period of time than the Zazzle shop--has yet to make a single sale! I really have no clue why this should be, as the designs are the same whether they're on CafePress, Printfection, or Zazzle. But, yeah, not one sale yet at Printfection. But the Zazzle shop is doing great, so we'll patiently wait for sales to start at Printfection.

We're still at CafePress, although we're pulling out of the marketplace for good at the end of this month. So any sales we make there will be directly from the shop, not the marketplace, and we'll get the markup we decided on, not a paltry 10% of the selling price as CafePress would have it. The challenge is figuring out how to drive traffic directly to products in our shop, since CafePress has the resources to do MAJOR advertising and, well, we don't! Certainly not on par with them.

Google recently put an end to individual shops uploading their own data feeds to Google Base, and that makes things even more difficult. They're now only accepting feeds from the company itself--such as eBay, CafePress, and Zazzle--for products in their marketplace. Unfortunately, for those of us no longer in the CafePress marketplace, we're screwed. We can't upload data feeds that lead potential customers directly to products in our shops, and since we're not in the CP MP we no longer exist on Google Base. That really sucks. I hope Google will come to its senses and realize that their logic is very flawed. They actually thought they were doing shopkeepers a favor! Little did they know that, in fact, they're screwing us too, just like CafePress.


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"I work hard so millions on welfare don't have to"

Someone posted a link on Facebook to our I work hard so millions on welfare don't have to merchandise, and it's getting a ton of hits. I can't track down the original post, though, and it's driving me nuts.

UPDATE 08/22/09: I don't know if this is related to the above, but I found a tweet on Twitter that also linked to this merchandise. Ironically, the person who posted it wonders: "How is this an appopriate [sic] sentiment to express via teddy bear?" and links to this I work hard so millions on welfare don't have to teddy bear. I guess @autgoff doesn't get that there are reasons a person might choose an object, like a teddy bear or clock, rather than apparel or stickers, to get across a message important to them. For example, in the workplace t-shirts with slogans on them may not be appropriate attire, but a teddy bear placed on a desk is fine.

Whatever! If you're interested in seeing this anti-welfare merchandise yourself, please take a look at our CafePress and/or Printfection shops. Here are some samples:







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Our anti-dogfighting, anti-Michael Vick products are selling like crazy

LOOKING FOR ANTI-MICHAEL VICK MERCHANDISE? PLEASE VISIT OUR SHOPS:
CafePress | Printfection | Zazzle

Ever since the extremely disappointing decision by the Philadelphia Eagles to sign convicted dog torturer and killer Michael Vick, our shops have been hit by query after query for anti-Michael Vick/anti-dogfighting merchandise. We're thrilled to see the public responding so swiftly and decisively to show their anger and dismay at Vick's return to the NFL.

BY FAR, the design that's selling the most is this one:



Looks like people are buying anti-Vick merchandise to wear/carry when showing up to protest NFL games he plays in. Good!

Now that we're branching out to other print-on-demand sites, rather than putting 100% into CafePress, we have a lot more products available, but they're kind of spread out! If you're looking for anti-Michael Vick/anti-dogfighting merchandise, please take a moment to look at our animal-related sections on:

CafePress | Printfection | Zazzle
As for Michael Vick and the character repair tour he's on...I don't know. I would LOVE to find out that all the remorse he's displaying, all the shame and disgust he says he now feels about what he did to those defenseless animals, are real. But I personally find it hard to imagine how a person who two years ago--and for many years prior--was actively involved in unspeakable cruelty to dogs, including killing them by extremely inhumane methods, can suddenly have such a remarkable GENUINE turnabout. I guess only time will tell what his real motives are.


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Shame on Wendy Murphy (Michael Vick related)

LOOKING FOR ANTI-MICHAEL VICK MERCHANDISE? PLEASE VISIT OUR SHOPS:
CafePress | Printfection | Zazzle

I was watching Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell tonight and was stunned at the comments one of her panel members, Wendy Murphy, made about Michael Vick. Actually, I ended up DVRing it later on so I could go back and listen to her exact words.

In a nutshell--and I'm paraphrasing--Murphy, a former prosecutor, said that what Kobe Bryant did was much, much worse than what Michael Vick did. Oh really?

Okay, first of all, "what Kobe Bryant did" was never proven, never prosecuted, he was not convicted of anything and he didn't go to prison. Besides, although the woman claimed that he raped her, the evidence indicated otherwise. Believe me, I take rape and allegations of rape very seriously, and if there had been any credible proof/evidence that her claims were true, I'd have been first in line pushing for Kobe to be prosecuted and punished. But it just wasn't there. Whether she truly was raped or was simply hoping to cash in on Kobe's fame and fortune, only she knows.

Michael Vick, on the other hand, caused unconscionable pain and suffering to countless dogs. Living, breathing, feeling, innocent dogs. Their pain was real. The viciousness of their daily lives was real. Their barbaric deaths--by electrocution, hanging, drowning, or being slammed into the ground--were real. Their agonizing fights to the death were real. The "rape stands" the female dogs were put in were real. We KNOW all of this happened--Vick himself has admitted it, he was tried, convicted and sent to prison for it.

So what do we have? A woman who might have been raped, although the evidence didn't support that claim, and countless dogs who really were tortured and killed. I don't know about you, but it's pretty clear to me that what Michael Vick did is MANY, MANY times worse than what Kobe Bryant did because, as far as the law is concerned, Kobe didn't do ANYTHING.

There's something else Wendy Murphy said that pissed me off and left me scratching my head. Again I'm paraphrasing: "I'm not jumping on the Peta train until they start caring about women and children!" Excuse me? What does an organization named People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have to do with women's and children's issues? Am I missing something?

I can't express strongly enough how appalled I am at Wendy Murphy's take on all of this. I wonder how she'd feel if she were ripped to shreds by dogs...and then, if "lucky" enough to survive, left in pain with no medical care, only to be forced to do it all over again another day. Maybe she thinks dying by being slammed into the ground or hung or electrocuted or drowned are fun ways to go...but I don't.

Oh, just in case anyone thinks I'm a sexist [male] pig for being insensitive to the issue of rape...don't. For one thing, I'm female. For another, I was raped as a teenager. I understand how traumatizing and life-altering rape is. I would never take it lightly. But the facts are what they are--there simply was no proof that Kobe raped that woman, while there's no doubt that Michael Vick tortured and killed those dogs.


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Philadelphia Eagles sign TORTURER Michael Vick

LOOKING FOR ANTI-MICHAEL VICK MERCHANDISE? PLEASE VISIT OUR SHOPS:
CafePress | Printfection | Zazzle



It was very disappointing to hear today that the Eagles have signed admitted, convicted dog torturer and murderer Michael Vick. It didn't take long for people to start organizing and mobilizing to protest this decision. Although I'm definitely not a Philadelphia Eagles fan, I joined this cause on Facebook, Eagles Fans Against Vick - Torturing Dogs is Not Forgivable and would like to urge you to do the same. It's simple and only takes a few moments. Then, if you'd like, you can promote it on Facebook (or anywhere!) yourself.

If you're not sure why we're so anti-Michael Vick please read this blog post from earlier this month.

And just a reminder:

REPORT ANIMAL FIGHTING ACTIVITIES TOLL-FREE TO (877) TIP-HSUS / (877) 847-4787 AND COLLECT A REWARD UP TO $5,000 FROM THE HUMANE SOCIETY OF THE UNITED STATES.


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Michael "Scumbag" Vick: No takers yet!

LOOKING FOR ANTI-MICHAEL VICK MERCHANDISE? PLEASE VISIT OUR SHOPS:
CafePress | Printfection | Zazzle


REPORT ANIMAL FIGHTING ACTIVITIES TOLL-FREE TO (877) TIP-HSUS / (877) 847-4787 AND COLLECT A REWARD UP TO $5,000 FROM THE HUMANE SOCIETY OF THE UNITED STATES.

It's gratifying to see that--as of yet--no NFL team wants to touch the heartless piece of shit known as Michael Vick. The latest team to make that official? The San Diego Chargers, as noted in this LA Times article. In it, Chargers General Manager A.J. Smith said:

"Some head coaches and GMs would talk about it, but for what? I don't know why you'd want to fool with it."

and:

"As for the Chargers, Smith said: 'Let me just put it this way: If his agent calls, we have three quarterbacks here and we're set at the position. We don't have any spot for him here.'

Asked if the team might create a spot if one of those quarterbacks were not available, Smith said no."

Just in case anyone's been in a cave for a while and doesn't know why no one wants to touch Michael Vick, here's the short version: He and his similarly heartless friends ran a dogfighting ring in which INNOCENT dogs were tortured and killed. Among other things, Vick participated in hanging, drowning, and electrocuting dogs who "didn't perform well" in fights. The poor dogs who survived fights--and murder at Vick's hands--were bloodied and injured, left to suffer without proper medical care.

Maybe after Michael Vick agrees to be hung, electrocuted, drowned or forced to fight until he's mangled and bloody--or to death--then I'll believe he's truly sorry for what he did.

As far as I'm concerned, Vick the Dick and his subhuman friends--and anyone else who participates in animal fighting--can go to hell. Actually, I'm quite sure that's exactly where they'll end up, burning in hell for all eternity.

I posted the following in the 'comments' at the link above; I liked it so much I thought I'd copy it here!

I'm glad to see that the vast majority of people posting see things the same way I do. The rest of you? You're either extremely naive, extremely ignorant, extremely stupid, or extremely heartless to think what Vick did wasn't such a big deal. YES, it was. And justifying it by saying it's been going on for a long time? SO WHAT?! Slavery went on for a long time, too; so did segregation. Did that make them okay? No. Same with animal fighting.

However, while I am adamantly opposed to him ever playing professional sports again (more about that in a moment), I absolutely believe that he--and all other ex-cons--should be given a chance to work again. After all, they need to support themselves and their families. I hope Vick and the rest of his cruel, heartless, dogfighting friends can find jobs.

BUT, the reason Vick shouldn't be allowed to play pro sports again is simple: People look up to pro athletes. They're heroes to kids, and even adults. Michael Vick does not deserve in any way, shape or form to be back in a position of idolatry. He is not--and should never be considered--a role model.

Frankly I don't CARE how remorseful he -appears- to be. The fact is, he participated in a long-standing, well thought out, organized, horrifically cruel CRIME that caused unconscionable pain and distress to many innocent dogs. He should NEVER again be put in the "hero" position so many pro athletes enjoy just by virtue of being a pro athlete.

Based on sales of our anti-Michael Vick, anti-dogfighting merchandise, I'd say there are a LOT of people who feel the way I do.

Want to speak out against animal fighting? Take a look at our anti-dogfighting/anti-animal fighting merchandise, including:














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Why I'm vegetarian

(I wrote this intel for Qondio.com and decided to post it here, too.)


Back in 1988 when I declared to my family that I could no longer eat meat, wear leather, or use products containing animal ingredients, I was passionate about my reasons but had a lot to learn about my new lifestyle. I must admit that I was quite unprepared for the challenges I'd face--especially since we were living in Texas at the time.

My reasons for becoming a vegetarian were simple: I became educated! I learned the truth about the atrocities inflicted on innocent, sentient beings on factory farms, in slaughterhouses, on fur farms, in labs, and so on. After that, my conscience simply wouldn't allow me to continue participating, even passively, in that cruelty.

Prior to this time I was your average American, eating meat every day--without ever considering how it ended up neatly packaged in the supermarket, wearing leather shoes and belts and purses, using shampoo and other products--never glancing at their ingredients, etc. I had always called myself an animal lover. And, indeed, I was. Or at least I THOUGHT I was. After all, I had always rescued/adopted pets, I gave those pets a loving, safe home for life, and I treated my pets like they were children.

Then one day it hit me: I was a hypocrite. And I could no longer deny it. All my life I had CLAIMED to love animals, yet I saw nothing wrong with consuming some of them in various ways. The more I thought about how hypocritical I'd been, the more it bothered me. Like most people who claim to love animals, my love extended only to the "pet" variety and other "cute" animals (horses, lions, etc.). But cows? Pigs? CHICKENS? Please!

Well, as it turns out, cows, pigs, chickens, turkeys, lambs, and all other "meat" animals have exactly the same capabilities as dogs and cats to experience pain, fear, love, loyalty, and grief. Some animals mate for life. Others mourn the dead. Some animals raise the offspring of a fallen member of their group. How can anyone deny that these non-human animals deserve a cruelty-free life? I no longer could.

As I write this I've been a happy "ethical vegetarian" for 21 years. I've NEVER, not even once, wavered or thought about eating dead animals again. But in the beginning I definitely faced some challenges!

I'm a California native. You know, the land of fruits and nuts. :) Living in the south was a difficult, unpleasant experience even BEFORE I turned veggie, but afterwards? Oh dear. Our first outings to restaurants were eye-opening...in a very bad way. We'd order something like green beans or cheese enchiladas, thinking they would be "safe" (containing no animal ingredients) to eat. Then the food would arrive and we'd be shocked to see chunks of ham in the green beans or meat sauce on the enchiladas. When we'd ask for vegetarian food we were often looked at as if we were visiting from another planet. We had to EXPLAIN to restaurants--many times--such things as: "vegetable soup" made with beef or chicken broth was NOT vegetarian; green beans with the pork removed did NOT qualify as safe to eat; fish is not a vegetable. It was trying, to say the least.

I'm back home in California now, thank goodness. Of course I'm an old hand NOW at living a vegetarian lifestyle, but it's still nice being surrounded by many other vegetarians, lots of vegetarian entrees at every restaurant, veggie fast food places, etc.

My only regret? That I ever ate animals in the first place. I can rationalize that to a degree because as a child I had no choice. Even if I had known about the torture "meat" animals are subjected to, there's nothing I could have done about it. (Believe me, I would not have been allowed to go veggie back then.) And as an adult, well, I was conditioned to thinking it was NORMAL to eat animals. I can't turn the clock back. There's no way I can make up for those years as a meat eater. I'm just glad I came to my senses...


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Another Internet scam: "Local College Drop-Out Now Makes $10,000+ A Month Online"

A friend asked me to take a look at this "article" she'd seen, which ostensibly describes the success some guy, Mike Steadman, is making online, so I did. At first glance it LOOKS like a page on an online newspaper; it's even cleverly named "Los Angeles Tribune News." [UPDATE 08/05/09: I found out that they're using a GeoIPTargeting system that produces a city name in the "newspaper" title based on your location. That's why it showed up as "Los Angeles Tribune News" for me, while others are seeing the name of a city near to them.] There's only one page: The main one. Odd for a newspaper!

According to the "article," Mike Steadman is raking in money by posting links on Google. Really.

On one side of its masthead there is a fake (i.e., no link to it) "headline" (top left) that says, "Jobs: The Economy 'Jobs are not going to be found as fast as we'd like...'" On the other side of the masthead there's another "headline" that says: "Home Start-Up Kit 'Work From Home On Your Computer...'" and there's a link associated with it.

In fact, the link connected with the latter is the same as ALL the other links on the page--it's under everything, from the "As seen on: ABC, AOL, CNN..." graphic to this photo caption: "Many sites showcase people making as much as $300 a day working online from home on their computer."

At any rate, my curiosity was piqued so I decided to follow that ubiquitous link. It leads to a page on a site called processcartcenter.com. There's a form on the page that says "Limited time offer" and "Fill out the form below to check availability!" It asks for your name, e-mail address, country, ZIP code, and phone number. Wanting to see more, I went ahead and filled it out and then hit "Check availability."

At this point, guess what? THEY HAVE AVAILABILITY! Wow. I'm so impressed. Of course, they want your credit card info...

I'd seen enough so I dropped to a Linux prompt and looked up the whois info for the original site, thetribunedailynews.com. I found that they're brand new, and they're registered through GoDaddy.

Now, recall that the only thing I filled out was the very brief "check availability" form. Guess what? Within HOURS--and I really do mean hours--the spam started FLOODING in. How do I know it originated from that site? Simple: I gave them a unique e-mail address, i.e., an address never given to ANYONE else, ever.

So aside from the very great possibility that the whole thing is a scam to get your credit card info (and, from complaints I found online, it looks like they make unauthorized charges far beyond their $1.97 "processing fee"), it's also a spam magnet. I've NEVER seen spam start pouring in as quickly as I did with this.

Oh, the garbage that the spammers are sending to that unique address? It's automatically going into /dev/null (for you non-Linux/UNIX people, that means it's disappearing, never to be seen again). I set its mailbox up to discard everything as soon as it arrives.


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40th anniversary of moon landing -- watch the actual TV coverage!

Forty years ago today, July 20, 1969, humans first landed on the moon. What an amazing moment in history that was! Tonight, the History Channel is running the actual news coverage of that first lunar landing; here's the blurb about it on their web site:

"This special takes viewers back to July 1969 to experience the actual CBS News/Walter Cronkite coverage of man's first lunar landing. Using minimal editing and leaving the original footage untouched viewers will feel as if they are watching the CBS coverage in July of 1969. While today we know the outcome of Apollo 11's mission it was not a given then. This will become evident watching Walter Cronkite and his colleagues as they watch the historic lunar mission unfold before them."

The program, "Live from '69: Moon Landing," runs at 5:30, 8:00, and 9:30 (Pacific time) tonight. Check your local listings for accurate times in your area.

With Walter Cronkite's death still fresh, this is a great opportunity to see him in one of his most shining moments.


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Doing an experiment: Opting back in to the CafePress marketplace

Okay, before anyone starts shouting "HYPOCRITE!" at us, let me explain. From talking to various CafePress shopkeepers it seems that sales have picked up somewhat. That's not to say that ALL shopkeepers are seeing that trend, but some are. Of course, their PROFIT is way down due to that ridiculous 10% commission thing. Anyway, just to satisfy my own curiosity I'm going to opt back in to the CafePress marketplace. I'm not sure how long we'll wait before pulling out again, but certainly long enough to see if sales volume dramatically increases--which is what CP has claimed their ludicrous commission change would accomplish, therefore mitigating the cut in commission. We shall see...


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Microsoft announces free web-based version of Office

So I just read that Micro$oft is offering a free web-based version of their bloated, expensive office suite, Office. My question: who cares?

Anyone with any sense should dump all Micro$oft products and switch to open source. Download a FREE Linux distro, such as the beautiful, easy to use Ubuntu, and then download the FREE office suite, Open Office and you're good to go.

Now you'll want additional software, so go grab yourself some or all of these:

. For graphics, the GIMP can't be beat--for most users. If you're a professional who's used to Photoshop, you may find some features/functions missing, but for most users the GIMP offers all they're likely to need.

. For downloading, editing, organizing and viewing digital photos, my personal favorite is digiKam.

. For instant messaging, Pidgin is extremely versatile. Pidgin can connect to many chat networks at one time, including: AIM, MSN, ICQ, IRC, Yahoo! and more.

. For all office-related tasks, including spreadsheets, databases, word processing, presentations, etc., the aforementioned Open Office has it all.

Here's an excellent resource of Linux alternatives to Windows software: The Linux Alternative Project.

Even if you choose to use windoze you can still dump their bloated, over-priced software and switch to free alternatives as listed above.

Why not stop pouring your hard-earned money into the Microsoft machine? Stop the endless upgrading to newer--more expensive--hardware every time an OS "upgrade" comes out. Stop the crashes, slowness, viruses, adware, malware, and constant rebooting that go along with using Windows. Switch to Linux and other open source products and find out how great it feels to be completely in charge of your computers. Treat yourself to the power, security, and stability of Linux. You'll be glad you did!

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Announcing our Squidoo lens

Despite having signed up for a Squidoo account back in 2007, we never got around to doing anything with it until yesterday. It's definitely a work in progress and not the most amazing Squidoo lens ever published [yet!], but it's fun working on it. Please drop in and take a look: SmartAssProducts.com's Squidoo lens.

One of its modules is called Duel, as in battle it out. I wanted to add it but wasn't sure what question to ask that would provoke votes and comments...and then I quickly remembered how much fun I've had over the years debating abortion rights. So that's it! We're asking this question: Are you pro-choice or anti-choice?. Since our lens is brand new and isn't getting any traffic yet, this may turn out to be a rather dull debate, but whatever. :) You can both vote and comment, so it's a great opportunity for those passionate about abortion rights/reproductive rights to express themselves.

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Fuck you, CafePress! Hello, PrintFection!

Now that CafePress has decided to thoroughly screw its shopkeepers, we're moving on to other PODs (that's "print-on-demand" companies). You can read all about the boneheaded decision CafePress made in these two previous posts: Boycott the CafePress marketplace and Boycott the CafePress marketplace (part 2). While you're at it, please sign the petition included in the latter post.

Anyway, we're moving on although it's VERY slow going. Because we have hundreds of designs on thousands of products, it's going to take a while to get them all set up on other PODs. Right now we're working on our PrintFection shop and would love to have you drop by. There's not a lot there yet, but we'll keep plugging away!

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